


Rekindle

by Mesa_Boogie



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-18
Updated: 2013-01-18
Packaged: 2017-11-25 22:10:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 15,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/643476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mesa_Boogie/pseuds/Mesa_Boogie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki falls from the stars and has no memory really of who he is or where he's from. Found and taken in by Tony Stark, memories begin to surface once more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first real fan fiction story I've ever written. Putting what I've learned from years of English class....together into a story. I hope you enjoy ^.^

He remembered darkness. He remembered a little light that seemed to be guiding him as he fell from the heavens. Before that, he does not remember anything, all is just a blank slate and now he starts anew.  
He wakes, shivering and cold in some white ice crystals. With his left over strength, pushing himself up onto his unsteady legs. Tipping back and forth, reaching out to rest against a rock ledge. Leaning in and pressing his hot forehead against the cool ice rock.  
“Where....am I?” he asks softly to himself, turning to look out on his surroundings. Snow capped mountain peaks, for as far as he can see, and dark ever green forests. He looks up and sees the stars, his heart has an unfamiliar ache that he can not place for those stars high above him. The moon hangs in the sky, smiling down on him, whole and bright that he has to squint his eyes a little. Looking down on his exposed hands to see his skin slowly turning blue. “This...must not be good..” and yet the shivering coldness in his bones disappears.  
He starts to walk once more, stumbling once in the snow and regaining his footing. He is lost. He is truly lost in a world he does not know or recognize. He does not know where he came from or where he belongs, if he belongs at all. Wanting to curl up in the cold snow and sleep his worried thoughts away to ease his broken heart. Here is where he’ll stay, at least till the sun rises. If there is a sun. Maybe this world only has a moon and night and that’s why it’s so cold and frosty. Anyways, he will stay put till there’s more light.


	2. Chapter 2

“Jarvis, did you pick up on that crash?”  
“I did, sir. It seems to have landed in the Cascade Mountain Range.”  
“Could have just been a meteorite...”  
“I do not think so, Mr. Stark...”  
“Are you arguing with me, Jarvis? I did not program you to argue with me.”  
“I am certainly not arguing with you, sir.”  
“Good, cuz I’d hate to have to go into your program and reformat you,” Tony brushes papers off his computer work station in his Malibu, California, home. It has been awhile since he returned home here and someone or something hasn’t been keeping up with the cleaning. Turning to glare at one of the robotic arms that he always uses to help him out with everything. Sighing upon learning that he has to do it all on his own. “Fine, I’ll do it all myself,” picking up an empty Coke bottle, walking it over to the recycler to be green. He has everything under control here. Almost everything.  
What ever recently crashed in the mountains in the far north state of Washington, is bugging him in the back of his mind. He has an itching feeling that he needs to go see what it is. Be it really a piece of space rock or an alien ship. Nothing really surprises him anymore. Not with having signed up with the Avengers Initiative. He has seen many things not of this world. But there’s still that nagging feeling to see what just dropped out of the sky.  
“Jarvis, get my suit ready, I’m flying out.”  
“But sir, it’s 3 o’cloak in the morning...”  
“No ‘but’s, Jarvis, just do it!”  
“Yes, sir.”  
He moves out from behind his computer desk, looking out on the rest of his lab floor, his latest model of his IronMan suit being presented to him. Walking over and standing in the correct marked spots as the suit is assembled over his body. The helmet the last to go on and the face piece sliding down. The arc reactor powering up the suit with a almost comforting hum.  
“Ready for departure, sir,” Jarvis informs him from inside the suit, and inside his head.  
“Great, lets blow this joint!” he looks up as a panel in the ceiling slides open for his retreat. No more destroying his mansion, the work on it only just having been completed. Rocketing off into the night sky, his trip taking him up north a several thousand miles.


	3. Chapter 3

There is howling off in the distance. That lone howl sending shivers up and down his spine. There are creatures out there that he does not know, does not wish to meet. He lifts his head upon hearing a loud roaring sound. At least his hearing works. Spotting something flying in the sky, and it quickly descends down to where he has made his nest. Scrambling out of the way of crumbling rocks and debris. Staring up at a large metal man. The face place slides back and there is another face. He does not like this. Getting up and looking to somewhere to run to, but that’s hard, he’s stuck on top of a mountain.  
“Oh fucking A! What the hell are you doing back here!?” the metal man yells at him and he cowers back,covering his head with his hands. The metal man must be confused, but in a second he is yanked to his feet and feels his shoulder dislocate. He screams, then holds back his sniffling. Horrible pain and he does not even know why he deserves it, what he has done wrong. He then is tossed aside to the rocky cliff. Curling up on himself. “What is fucking wrong with you? Fight back against me! Where’s your magic??” the iron man yells again and takes a fighting stance. He looks up and shakes his head. He does not wish to fight, does not want to. “Loki...” That has his attention, staring now. This man, mortal, knows his name.  
“How....how do you know my name?” he works on standing up, holding his limp arm against his chest. “How do you know my name? How do you know me? Why....?” He has too many questions bouncing around in his head. If this man of iron knows his name, then this is a world he must have been to before. And he must have met this mortal before, too. His legs begin to shake and give out under him, sinking back down on to the rocks and snow.  
“What?? What do you mean ‘how do you know my name?’? You fucking destroyed New York city, threw me out a window, and killed hundreds of innocent lives in your evil bidding with your freaky alien friends! That’s how I know your name! I’ve fought against you! We all did!”  
Loki looks away for a moment. He doesn’t remember any of that. Thinking and drawing a blank, his head pounding with pain. “I don’t remember...any of that..”  
“You lie! That’s what you do. You lie and cheat!”  
“Truly,” he lifts his head up now, “I remember none of things you have mentioned. I...am lost.”


	4. Chapter 4

Tony Stark does not know if his ears are deceiving him or not. Here in front of him is the great liar of Asgard, Loki, reduced to a cowering little being. The great and powerful Loki who lead a siege of alien forces against New York city not more than year ago. And yet, this is the same Loki in front of him.  
“What...happened to you?” he frowns down on his enemy looking so defenseless.   
“I told you, I do not remember. I am...lost” Loki looks about quickly, as if something is going to come out of no where and snatch him up and eat him. Tony does not know if this is a prank or a play, but the god before him clearly seems lost in his head.  
“Look,” he sighs. “I....come back with me...and I’ll set you straight...and...umm..you can rest. I’m sorry about the arm,” he points to the arm Loki is keeping clutched against his chest. All the god does is nod his head and up down, but otherwise does not move. Tony walks up to him ever so slowly, like with a wild animal, crouching and scooping him up in his arms. For being a full grown man, Loki is quite light in weight. No muscle like Thor, weighing him down. “Hold onto me tight. This going to be a fast ride!” his face plate slides back down and they take off for the stars. Loki clutching tightly to him just as he ordered. They are almost back to his Malibu mansion when his thrusters start to give out. “J....Jarvis, what the hell is going on??” he asks nervously.  
“Ice is building up, sir.”  
“What?? Look...I’m not doing my moon trip again..”  
“I know, sir. But ice is building up over the suit, power is draining..”  
Tony stares forward, seeing the balcony now of his mansion, if only they could make it that far. Closer, closer, the trusters are sputtering and then give out all together. Dropping down on the balcony and crashing. Loki leaves his arms and skids away several feet and Tony’s landing is nothing better. Coming a minute or two later with a throbbing headache.  
“Hey...we made it..”  
“You did, Mr.Stark..now to get the suit off you for repairs..”  
“Yeh..as soon as I..” Tony pushes himself up with a little unease, but regains his balance. Looking to see Loki laying on his side with his back to him, limp as a wet rag. Tony limps his way over to him and rolls the god on his back, patting him on the cheeks. “Hey...Loki...yo...wake up. Come on now, you say you guys are immortal. So...there’s no way you die here then, yeh?” Only then does he begin to see that Loki’s skin is no longer a porcelain white, but a pale blue; and when he opens his eyes, they are the colour of freshly spilled blood. There’s also what is like raised scars on his forehead, almost like tribal marking. Now he’s not even sure this is Loki, maybe he really did bring an alien back to his home. Giving the other male some space now and he really needs to think.  
Loki sits up slowly, holding his limp arm again and hisses in pain. Tony moves to help him up, even though touching him means a bit of frost bite. moving him inside and laying him on the couch he has in his sitting area.  
“Better?”  
“Yes..better..” Loki meekly answers and looks around curiously.  
“Why are you...blue?”  
“Blue?” he looks at his own skin and frowns. “I do not know..”  
Tony walks up closely, having this urge to reach out and touch the other man. After his IronMan suit is removed, piece by piece, he does just that. Approaching Loki slowly, then kneels down in front of him. The god’s red eyes peer down at him with such curiosity that should not be considered cute. Tony reaches out with fingers shaking, gently laying his touch to Loki’s right cheek. The god closes his eyes and sighs in relief. His milky white skin showing through the quick retreating blue. As if he were melting. When Loki opens his eyes again, Tony drawing his hand back, his irises are back to emerald green and cat like. Tony is in a state of shock, never having seen anything like this before and he is trying his best to comprehend what just happened when he touched Loki.  
“Something wrong?” Loki asks quietly.  
“Ahh..um...” Tony backs away, eyes wide. That is not something you get to see everyday and Loki seems quite clueless to it. Which makes it all the more weird. Letting out a pent up sigh. “Look, just...stay there...I’m....want something to eat?”  
“What is your name?” Loki then frowns at him and Tony feels weird having to reintroduce himself to the god.  
“Tony. Tony Stark. Look...you want something to eat or no?”  
“What do you eat?”  
“Uh, pizza.”  
“Then I shall have that.”  
Totally freaky, Tony shudders as he leaves the room to order a pizza to be delivered. And he has to iron out his brain and not inform SHEILD. At least, not for now.


	5. Chapter 5

Loki looks around his new surroundings. Lots and lots of shinny objects he wishes he could get his fingers on, but then Tony would most likely start yelling at him again. He sits up with pain, looking at his limp arm and shoulder, wondering what Tony had did to him. He looks up to see the man returning to the room with a glass in his hand, drinking.  
“My arm..what did you do to it?”  
“Oh! Sorry, my bad,” he sets down his glass and approaches him. Sitting down beside him. “This is going to hurt,” he warns, but Loki doesn’t mind. Felling a firm hand on his arm, the other on his shoulder. One second he is fine, the next screaming out in burning pain. “I told you it was going to hurt.” Loki lays down and rubs his sore arm. “I had dislocated your shoulder...I’m sorry.”  
“Why did you not inform me before doing..what you did?” he frowns at Tony, still associating the man with ‘pain’.  
“You most likely would not let me do it if I told you the details before hand. Trust me,” he stands up, stretching and covering his open mouth with his hand as he yawns. Loki feels it too, the pull of sleep and his eyes grow tired. Here, he is safe to fall asleep, no wild animals out to eat him up.  
“It’s alright, you can stay on the couch, but I’m heading back to my room. Jarvis, keep an eye on him.”  
“Certainly sir.”  
Loki sits up quickly, looking around and staring back at Tony, the only other person in the room. “Who said that??”  
“Huh? Oh, Jarvis...” Tony shrugs his shoulders. “My greatest invention. He lives...I guess you could say...in the house. He’s a computer system, the smartest one in the world,” Tony beams a proud smile. Loki eyes him a little longer till Tony turns his back on him and walks out of the room. The lights dimming down on their own and Loki is left alone on the couch with only a blanket. He stands, removing his long leather trench coat and shoulder armor. Stripping down to more lighter clothing. Looking to the couch again, then the door Tony left through. Deciding on the door. Walking over slowly and trying the knob. It easily turns, peering into another room with an inside waterfall with a tall staircase behind it. He starts heading there and up the stairs to a lighter area and another door, painted red and gold. Admiring how it is painted, touching a hand gently to it before resting his forehead against the grain. Trying the knob and finding it too is unlocked.  
Moving silently across the plush carpeted floor, Loki walks up to the large bed with one man laying in the middle, under the covers. He sits down on the edge, removing his boots, lifting up the covers and slips underneath. Finding it warm and comforting, smiling at how good he feels. This all feeling right to him.


	6. Chapter 6

Tony feels the bed dip down as if someone has joined him. Pepper is not here tonight, he sent her home. His place is empty except for the god sleeping on the couch in his living room area. So when he rolls over and gets a good look at the face on the same pillow as his, he pinwheels out of bed. Falling over the side of the bed, ass first. “Fuck,” he curses. “I told you to watch him, Jarvis. Did I not tell you that?”   
“You did sir, but he’s not really causing any trouble or damage.”  
“Right, so you let him waltz up here and into bed with me. Great, what help you are,” he pulls himself back up, turning on a light and frowning at Loki with his sweet head on his pillow. “What the fuck are you doing in my bed?”  
“I was lonely and curious. I am sorry, is that wrong in this world? What are the customs here? I must learn them,” he opens one green eye and looks up at him with such helplessness.  
“What? No no,” he groans and rubs his fingers at his temples, trying to think on what to do. Get back in bed with the god? Hell no. Go without sleep? Possibly, but he loves sleep too much to give it up, unless he has something to work on. “Look, two men do not sleep in the same bed together here...um..on Earth.”  
“Midgard.”  
“Whatever. It’s gay.”  
“Gay means happy.”  
“Not anymore it doesn’t” he hisses. Damn the god is sharp as a tack, even with not remembering his last world domination trip gone wrong. “Tell me you’re not lying.”  
“About what?”  
“About not remembering...anything.”  
Loki frowns, looking down at the sheets after he has sat up now. “I only remember darkness....and a small guiding light bringing me here. I woke up cold and on top of that mountain.”  
“You fall off the bifrost or whatever?”  
“What?”  
“The rainbow bridge...look...where were you before you got here?”  
“I told you, I don’t remember,” he growls lowly at Tony for constant pestering of questions.  
“Right, fine. You don’t remember a thing before you appeared on top of that mountain. Not even being a kid? Or of your brother?”  
“Brother?” he frowns at Tony and shakes his head quickly. “I don’t recall such family...I am only me in the world and I don’t even know what I am,” he looks to his palms and sighs.  
“Fine, you can have my bed and I’ll sleep else where.”  
“No! I....I’m sorry, I can’t steal your bed from you,” Loki quickly slips back out and Tony gets a good look at the god now that he has stripped himself of his heavy leather coverings. Now looking more, normal.  
“Look, just take it, I do not want to argue with you any more,” Tony sighs, pushing a hand through his disheveled, rumpled, chocolate brown hair. He needs sleep to think about the day that will soon follow. Of what he’s going to do with Loki and about SHEILD. He has a lot to think about really. Suddenly feeling a tugging on the hem of his shirt, he opens his eyes and looks down upon Loki. “Stop it....stop giving me the puppy dog look, it is not working,” he grumbles, then gives up and sits back down on his bed. Looking to the god once more. “Fine, I’ll remain here, sleeping, but you have to stay on that side,” he points out, then lays down, pulling the covers tight up and back to Loki. “I hope to god, that you do not snore.”  
“No, I do not snore,” Loki informs him and he feels the bed shift once more as the god behind him settles back down on the bed and under the sheets. The hours that follow are quiet and dark, just the way Tony wants them to, in bed. Waking up feeling quite refreshed.  
He leaves Loki to sleep and tells Jarvis not to disturb their guest as he heads to the kitchen to try and cook. Being as a grown up, you’d think he’d know how to cook at least a simple dish. Wrong. You’d think with his engineering mind he would know how the stove and oven works, wrong. Pepper usually cooks for him, but she is not in at this hour and he is left to fend for himself in the kitchen. After a few failed attempts and setting off the fire alarm, he has made two cooked eggs and some toast. Feeling quite proud of himself as he takes a seat at his high kitchen counter to eat his meal. Hearing the shuffling of feet and looking up to see Loki in the doorway.  
“Morning sunshine,” he shrugs and begins to eat his eggs. “Sorry, I am not cooking again...if you want something, you can get it yourself...” he stops short as he hears pans rattling, eggs cracking, flour shifting and a whisk going. He can only stare at the god who seems to know just what he is doing. And his breakfast soon goes cold. “Wh...what are you making??”  
“Mmm...I do not know what you humans would call it..,” he reaches into the oven and takes out the cast iron pan, setting it out to cool. Tony leaning in to see the creation as Loki sprinkles it with powdered sugar.  
“Uhh...Dutch Baby...or German pancake..wow! Where did you learn to cook like that? Right, you do not remember anything,” he sighs and just stares at the sweet breakfast. Loki pops it out of the pan and onto a big plate to share with him. Okay, now he wants to keep the god and never turn him over to SHIELD. After twenty minutes or so, Tony feels full. Satisfied. Damn, Loki can cook.  
“I can remember some things...at some point,” Loki takes a seat on another barstool beside Tony, gracefully picking up his fork to cut the pancake into bits to eat. “I remember a world, cold and filled with ice. Such blue magnificence and beauty I don’t know where to start to even describe it. I then remember being held...wrapped in a warm blanket and held in some big arms. I remember seeing golden locks of hair and a kind face with a warming smile that could melt the ice of the cold world, and eyes that were stern yet comforting.” Tony leans in closer as Loki stops eating and is recalling memories that must be of his infancy in Asgard. Being taken in by Thor’s family, the royal family. Loki does not know or understand how lucky he is for that family have taken him in and raised him. Now this is worth listening to, for he doubts he’ll hear it again. At some point, Loki’s memories are all going to flood back to him and he will loose this time with him. And loosing this time with Loki like this, hits hard in Tony’s heart for one reason or another. There’s a tugging at his heart to hold onto Loki’s innocence and this time spent with the god of mischief.  
“And?” Tony urges him on, but does not with to push Loki too far that he will not tell anything more.  
“What more is there to share?” the god shifts his green eyes over and scans his gaze up Tony’s body. He shudders at that longing gaze. Such hurt and seeking out the comfort of another. Tony knows that quite well, for he did it a lot as a child, but it never got him anywhere with his father. And his mother was never really around to give him stimulating play a child needs growing up in the world. It was just Tony and Jarvis. The butler was the only person ever happy to see him when he came back home for visits while going boarding school. Tony and Jarvis always got along. And that’s all Tony really remembers of his ‘childhood’. Clearly, Loki’s was worse off than his.  
“Well, I’m sure it will all come back to you soon enough,” Tony picks up his plate and scoots off his bar stool, the tension in the room having strung out tight like stings on a bow. He is picking up on Loki’s vibes loud and clear, not knowing how he should judge them. He washes his plate off in the sink and slides the dish into the dish washer. Turning around and running face first into Loki’s bare chest. The god lifts one hand and lays it so softly on top of Tony’s head that he can’t even feel it. Feather soft. And those eyes. Those eyes holding many things Tony doesn’t even wish to try and filter through.  
“I’ll finish these,” his voice is low and even. “You go and sit down somewhere, Tony,” he moves that had from the top of his head, down his neck and chest. Fingers gliding over the arc reactor set into his chest. “You should tell me about this.” An almost wicked smile pulls across the lips of the god of mischief and it makes Tony shudder again and inch his way around and away from the god. Giving him full reign of the kitchen. Slowly moving off into his living room and collapsing down on the long sofa sectional. Processing all that has happened so far. He feels himself drifting off to sleep, seeing the darkness flooding his vision and he can not fight against it. Allowing it to pull over him like a blanket spun of soft fine silk.


	7. Chapter 7

After he finishes washing dishes and drying his hands, Loki peers around the doorway into the living area. His eyes falling upon Tony’s form, slumped over on the couch and clearly sleeping. So he moves with ease towards him, fascinated with that glowing blue light emanating from the center of Stark’s chest. Approaching with such soft and quiet foot falls and sitting down beside the man of iron. Reaching out with a shaking hand, resting his fingers to the piece of art. It is warm to the touch and he wonders why it is a piece of Tony. What does it do? Is it functional? Then he moves his hand back up, tracing the lines of Tony’s high cheek bones, his scuff, and then lastly running his fingers through the soft brown hair. Loki looks longly over all of the human, bits of memories drifting back to him. He looks to his hand and draws it can to him quickly, heart racing. It is blue. Blue. The colour of ice fields, the colour of open waters. The colour of frost giants. He drops his head and pulls at his hair, groaning.  
“Stop! Stop it! I don’t.....I don’t want to remember...I...” he stops momentarily, lifting his head and gaze as he feels a hand grip onto his right wrist. Staring into the eyes of Tony Stark. Such rich burnt sienna, such knowing, such wisdom. He chokes back a sob and turns away from the man of knowledge, trying to tug his wrist back.  “Hey...Loki...whoa...what’s wrong? What happened?” Tony asks sternly and with concern that startles Loki further.  
“N...Nothing happened,” Loki shakes his head side to side, having a sinking feeling in his gut when he feels a sadistic pleasure towards lying to Stark.  
“Right. Look, I know you, Loki, better than you think. And I’m pretty sure it was ‘nothing’. I know in time you might tell me,” he sighs and runs a hand through his rumpled hair. “I really should shower and get dressed and start the day,” he groans as he pushes himself up on his feet. Loki reaching out for him this time. Pulling him back down to sitting on the couch.  
“Stay..a few more minutes, I...” Loki looks at him and Tony arches a brow in confusion. “I am..curious of the thing in your chest. The blue light...”  
Tony sits back down slowly and rubs a hand over his chest, over that piece of art. “This, keeps me alive, it’s as simple and short as that.” Loki stares. “Alright, I can tell you want more than that,” he rolls his eyes. “I had a meeting with a squad of the army in Afghanistan, for a weapons demonstration. Going from point B to point C, we were ambushed. And the enemy, was using the weapons I designed to use against them. Look, I was stupid and I left the car during the gun fire. The ground shook and I stumble down into the grovel, trying to hide from the gun fire from behind a rock and trying to get a message out on my cell phone. Just then a bomb came whizzing over head, landing no more than a few feet away from me. On the side said ‘Stark Industries’, I was doomed by weapons I built,” he sighs, taking a breath and continuing his story. “It exploded and I was knocked flat on my back, shrapnel entering my body, heading for my heart. I’m lucky to still be alive. This,” he taps a finger to the glowing piece of art. “This is an arc reactor,” he smiles about his work. “It creates an opposed magnetic field, keeping the bits of shrapnel from continuing their journey straight to my heart, but pushing them out instead. This keeps me alive.” Loki nods his head up and down, his eyes still focused on the glowing light embedded into Tony’s chest. “Look, I really need to get moving and get a shower. You can...use any clothes in my closet that you want, but for now, please keep a low profile while I figure things out.” Loki watches him stand up and walk off, leaving Loki to the emptiness of the mansion.  
“Mr. Stark will only be a few minutes,” a voice speaks out and Loki looks around quickly, frowning and seeing no one in his line of vision. Odd. It must be the voice of the house that Tony had informed him on earlier. “I am terribly sorry, sir, but my name is Jarvis. I work for Mr. Stark. If you’ll be needing any thing, I would love to be of some assistance to you.”  
“I will keep you in mind,” Loki gets to his feet now, his legs a little unsteady under his height. Walking around the living area and checking every little thing out that he can. Wandering back to the room that he had slept in only but a few hours earlier. The shades are up from the large bay view window looking straight down to the churring blue sea blow the cliff face. The brightness of the sun light causing Loki to narrow and squint his eyes, now being able to see more of the room and the rumbled tumbled sheets. Sheets that look like have been used by a love struck couple during a round or two of sex. He shakes his head and turns away from the sleeping area to the closet Tony spoke of. Walking in and looking around at all the freshly hung business suits and then to the relaxed clothes. He has a feeling that Tony meant for him to dress in the relax clothes and not the nice clothes, that he feels more like leaning towards trying on.   
He waits, sitting on the bed, for Tony to emerge out of the bath room, his brown hair slicked back on his head and his chest bared to the cool air of the room. Loki can not help but gaze upon the human’s physical anatomy. Tony adjusts the towel around his hips as he slips into the walk in closet, shutting the door behind him and sealing Loki out. Loki looks down at the floor, to his bare feet, wiggling his toes. Amazed in his mind how much control he has over his body. Lifting his hands up now and turning them over, palms up. Why did his skin turn blue earlier? Why did it feel...normal? He ponders, all the while staring at his palms, not noticing the faint glow of flame that has appeared. The light of the two small flames flickering over his face. He is startled back to reality when Tony yells something at him. In an instant the flames are gone.  
“What...the hell were you just doing??” Tony points a shaking finger at him and Loki frowns. “What you just did...you...you could have burned down my house. Don’t do that again, Loki!”  
“It...I...what was I doing?”  
“You know. The hand thingy..” Tony gestures and Loki laughs inside, watching the human. “You had flames in the palms of your hand, you little trickster.”  
“Magik.”  
“Riiiiight. What ever it was, don’t do it again,” Tony sighs, walking past him to the night stand, grabbing for an odd green drink, downing the glass and wiping his mouth on the sleeve of his sweatshirt. “I can’t believe I still have to take that stuff.”  
“It is required for keeping your body in shape, sir,” Jarvis’s voice lingers in the air. Something Loki is still going to have to get use to so he isn’t whipping his head around trying to pin point where the voice is coming from.  
“Alright, I have some calls to make, and one being to SHIELD.” Loki turns to stare blankly at Tony. “Right, you don’t know because you don’t remember. And lets just keep it at that, but I have things to report in on. All part a days work for an Avenger,” he drags his body off out of the room and Loki can not help but follow him out. What is he to do for the rest of the day while Tony is busy? He could snoop around, but he does not like when Stark gets angry with him. He best keep in low. Following Tony down a spiraling set of stairs, ending to at a glass wall. Tony punches in a code and a door in the glass opens, revealing the work shop and expensive sports cars. “Don’t touch anything,” Tony turns sharp on his heel, brown eyes narrowed, finger pointed right at Loki’s chest.  
“I will not touch anything,” Loki lays a palm over his chest and nods his head. Watching Tony turn away. So he slowly walks over to a large open area. All of the IronMan suits displayed in a half circle before him. All reds, silver, and gold. All pieces of art in Loki’s eyes, just like what is imbedded into Tony Stark’s chest. He is beginning to admire the human for metal work that he does.  
He pauses, something catching his eye and he approaches one of the suits. Tony’s voice in his head about not touching anything, is not going to stop him. He is on a mission. Reaching out with his right hand and resting his fingers softly down on the cool metal, over a spot that is glowing blue. A word is whispered in his mind, not like any voice he has ever heard. It whispers ‘tesseract’. Loki freezes up, his throat clenching, eyes wide before his legs give out and he drops to the concrete floor, cracking his head and his vision goes black.


	8. Chapter 8

“Look, I know I can trust you, Bruce, with this information, but I don’t want the rest of SHIELD knowing. Especially not Fury or he’ll whip my ass for what I did,” Tony is speaking on the phone with Bruce Banner, his friend and closest ally. “Okay, Loki...I have him here at my Malibu place and..” he stops mid sentence after hearing something fall. Wondering about Loki touching things he clearly told the god not to. “Knock it off, Loki! I told you not to touch anything!” Silence and no reply, Tony inches towards the area where he keeps his IronMan suits. “Uh..I’ll call you later, Bruce,” and ends the call. “Loki? Loki...?” He approaches the area and stops dead in his tracks. There’s Loki’s motionless body and a pool of blood forming a halo around his head, black hair splayed out. “FUCK!” he curses and then forces himself to move again; couching down next to the god and laying two fingers against his jugular. There’s a heart beat, so the god is still alive. Giving him a little shake. “Hey...hey...oh this is bad,” he stares over Loki’s body.  
“He was admiring the suits sir, when he then tensed up and collapsed,” Jarvis fills him in on what he did not see.   
“Thanks, Jarv. I think I have it from here,” he scoops Loki up in his arms and is still amazed at how light he is. Carrying him back up stairs where he can get him some medical attention. Maybe calling Bruce back will be a good thing. But on the other hand, he does not really want to bring others in on this situation. A situation he does not really want to be a part of. He is just hoping now that the god does not die his his arms. Leaving a blood trail from his work room up to the main living area. Trying not to think of the stains he will have to clean up later off the floor and out of the carpet. Grabbing a towel and folding it up, putting it under Loki’s head as he lays him down on the couch. Patting the god’s cheeks. “Hey...wake up, Loki..” No response. He looks around nervously, getting to his feet and leaving the room.   
Back in his bedroom, in the bathroom, in the linen closet, in the back, he pulls out his emergency first aid kit. “Fuck, I don’t want to do this, Jarv.”  
“Sir, his life is on the line here. Traumatic brain injury (TBI) is the leading cause of death and disability in the United States, approximately 53,000 people.”  
“Yeh and that would not fly over well with Thor,” he stands up, shutting the linen closet door and returning to the living area and Loki’s lifeless body. “I’m not going to let him die, not my hands.” Tony is determined, seeing this as a little homage to his old friend Yinsin. The man who really saved his life after the bomb explosion in Afghanistan. He opens his kit and dumps everything out on the coffee table. Alcohol, sterile strips, bandages, scissors, cotton balls. He’s going to need more than this, more hospital equipment. Running down to his work shop and rigging up a pole that will suffice to be used with an IV drip. Directed by Jarvis’s knowledge, he sets up an IV drip into Loki’s arm and cleans the cut on the back of his head, bandaging him up tight and hoping soon that the blood will clot and he will stop bleeding. Loki’s breathing is shallow and his heart beat slow, causing Tony to go a little mad in the head. He will now have the god bleeding to death. “Loki...come on...” he leans down close to the god’s face, then ties to open one of his eyes. They are normal, at least. He smooths a finger down and over Loki’s bottom lip.  
Why is he doing this? He should not be doing this. The god is laying helpless here on his couch and has such dirty thoughts running through his head. Things he wants with Loki, the wanting to keep him with him while he is innocent of his past crimes against humanity and other worlds for that matter. Tony gently moves his finger, pulling Loki’s bottom lip down; such perfect, straight, pearly white teeth. Loki’s face is set as if he is merely sleeping, calm. Tony brings both hands to the god’s face, feeling his smooth cool skin, feeling how he is sculpted. Perfect, everything about him is so damn perfect. He leans in and feather light, pushes his lips against Loki’s. A pit of warmth settling down in his stomach and the feeling of butterflies, like how one feels before doing something they have always dreamed about. His tongue darks from between his lips to lick against Loki’s sweet yet salty skin. Smoothing his thumbs under Loki’s closed eyes and finds himself whispering lowly under his breath “Please...wake up...please...”  
Tony pulls back quickly in horror as Loki’s body starts to shake and the god seems to go into a seizure that wreaks up and down his body. Coughing up blood on his lips. Then those green eyes flutter open and he shoots upright, gagging, his hands at his throat and then moving up through his hair. Speaking quickly in a langue at that Tony does not recognize or even understand. But he knows to give the god space, watching Loki move the back of his wrist to his mouth, smearing the blood and then moves his eyes to Tony. They seem hollow and yet all seeing.  
“Loki?” Tony asks, a little dumbfounded that the god is still alive. He gets a hiss in return from the mouth he kissed. “Okay....um...glad you’re still alive,” he looks away and rubs a hand to the back of his head when he momentarily stunned. Loki is standing on his own feet once more, tearing the IV from his wrist and glares down on Tony, like scorning a pet after it has done something it knew it should not have.  
“Stark...do not speak,” Loki leans down, pushing a finger to Tony’s lips, silencing him in a heart beat. What is going on here? What happened? Slowly a smile pulls across Loki’s lips, pulling up in the corners and showing off those perfect teeth of his. “Shh, do not speak a word from your mouth, I do not wish to hear anything from you. No, you will listen to me instead.” He momentarily looks up to the ceiling, one hand moving back behind his head and gingerly touching at the bandage job Tony gave him earlier. “Yes, I hit my head,” he looks back down to Tony, the smile have dropped away as quickly as it appeared and the vibe in the air changes to cold and cruel. Could he be remembering? Is his amnesia wearing off finally? If so, then Tony is in a dangerous spot here with the god of mischief. “You fixed me up, why?”  
“You were bleeding out on everything and I thought...you might...die.”  
“Foolish. I am immortal.”  
“Are you now? You sure about that?”  
“DO NOT TEST ME!” Loki shouts and it rings about the mansion and Tony keeps his mouth shut, looking away from the god. Trying to play coy and study the carpet fibers as he feels hatred seething off of Loki. Now is not the time to push him, while he’d delirious. When he does lift his head and look back up, Loki is swaying side to side a little before sinking back on to the couch and Tony feels safer approaching him now.  
“Look, you hit your head pretty hard and you’re feeling a little out of sorts. Why don’t you rest and not die on my couch? It’s the best of the options.”  
“And what are the other options?”  
“I turn you over to SHIELD.”  
“Who’s SHIELD?”  
“No, what is SHIELD. It’s the organization that doesn’t like guys like you.”  
“Like me?”  
“Well, the old you anyways. You...Loki...have amnesia. I don’t know how you got it, but you do. And I’m damn sure at some point your memories are going to all come flooding back to you and you will remember who you are and what you were.” ‘And I don’t want that,’ Tony thinks inside his head while facing Loki eye to eye.  
“Amnesia,” Loki speaks the word back slowly, rubbing to fingers to his temples and looks down in his lap. “Lack of memories.”  
“Yeh. Look, we’ll fix it.”  
“You want to, Stark?”  
“Sure I do. It’s kinda programmed into my blood to fix things that are broken.”  
“You think I’m broken?” Loki’s eyes narrow into glowering green slits at Tony. Alright, that was not the right words to use to phrase that he wants to help fix Loki.  
“No, you’re not ‘broken’ per say, just...lost?”  
“I do know my directions, Stark.” Right right.  
“Look, you konked your head pretty hard not too long ago, you should lay down and just rest up,” he tells the god and Loki actually does as Tony tells him. Laying his head back down on the folded up towel Tony put on the couch for his bleeding head; then he covers him with a throw blanket from over the back of the couch. He stands up once he is finished and sighs, rubbing a hand to the back of his own head, like he is the one that hit it and not Loki. The god of mischief just looks too cozy, laying there on Tony’s couch, under a dark forest green throw blanket. Tony watches as Loki slowly closes his eyes and his facial muscles go lax. He has never seen this side of him and Tony finds it all the more fascinating.  
In due time, the god will be healed and Tony still has the problem on his hands. What to do with him? After going through all they have gone through since he brought Loki back here, he does not wish to hand the god over to SHIELD, just so they can lock him away and let him waste. No, that is not going to happen on Tony’s watch.  
He gives another quick glance down to the resting god and those feelings are back. The fluttering butterflies in his stomach. He remembers this feeling, usually it came to him when he was much younger and it was about girls. But this is the still the same feeling, but towards Loki? Tony does not understand his internal ticking sometimes. He should not be feeling this way about another guy, that is just not right. And yet, he does and a body does not lie.


	9. Chapter 9

He feels like he’s wrapped in a blanket and being held. Like that memory in his head that keeps coming back to him. Hearing someone humming, humming to him to keep him feeling calm and safe. Feeling kisses against his face, warm fluttering lips, like water droplets in a rain storm. Loki feels at ease though his head is throbbing in pain and he wishes it could all just melt away. Daringly, he opens one eye and then the other, things coming into focus in his line of vision. And he recognizes Tony Stark’s gentle face and scruffy goatee. The kind, caring brown eyes and ruffled hair. More kisses to his cheeks and forehead. He whines softly, but that does not seem to stop Tony from what he is doing, little kisses. And the sounds, the sounds of kisses is something Loki has never heard before and his mind is trying to process if he likes it or not.  
“St...Stark...what are you doing?” Loki asks softly, he has the nagging feeling to do so and Tony stops and looks him square in the eyes and there is something there, something Loki tries reading into. Is it love behind those eyes? If so, why? There is nothing really to love about him. So he shifts and breaks his eyes contact with Tony, but does not fidget anymore about the soft tender kisses.  
“Glad to see you awake, reindeer game, sleep well?”  
“What?”  
“Oh, sorry. Yeh, nickname I made up for you the last time to came down to Earth.”  
“And what does it entail? What is a reindeer?”  
“Reindeer? Pull Santa’s sleigh,” Tony laughs and then shakes his head, having to remember that Loki is from a world far different from Earth. “They are a type of creature, with large horns and are quite timid and shy. They are prey, not predator. And you use to have a helmet you wore, that that two tall, long, curved back horns. So I pulled the nickname ‘reindeer games’ right off the top of my head. Do you not like it?”  
“I find it quite odd, Stark, that is all.”   
“Well, of course you do, it’s an Earth creature...not like something from Asgard. What kind of creatures are there in Asgard?” Loki stares blankly at Tony now with a hint of pure confusion, like someone had just slapped him upside the head.“Yeh, sorry. Don’t listen to me.”  
“There are creatures in Asgard, some similar to what you have here,” Loki nods his head slowly up and down, trying to get his brain to function and to work. “Tony..your suits...the one down in your work lab...I remember them. I remembered and then everything went dark.”  
Tony arches a brow. “So when you do remember little bits, you black out. Interesting. Maybe you just need more little things to hint at remembering,” Tony smiles widely at what he thinks is a brilliant plan.  
“Will it work? What if I choose not to remember?”  
Tony stares blankly, blinking every few seconds. “Well, then, it’s up to you really if you want to remember to not. But I think in due time, the amnesia will wear off and you will remember.”  
Loki looks down at his lap and his open palms, before looking back up to Tony. “I don’t want to remember, Stark. I like the way I feel right now. Oddly, I feel free.” He watches Tony nod his head and then move away from him. “Did I do wrong?” Tony turns back and stares down at him. “Did I do wrong, Stark?”  
“If you mean in your past, of what you did last time to Earth, then yeh you did wrong, Loki. But I think, it was not all your fault.” Then he turns back and leaves Loki laying on the couch. If only he could remember without feeling bad for the crimes he has committed and do not remember. Such torture, this amnesia. He feels a little emptiness in his heart when Tony leaves him alone in the living room and he looks over the back of the couch to the large bay view window. The endless body of water, as far as the eye can see, stretches out and mingles with the blue of the sky. Loki closes his eyes and tries his best to focus inward on this feeling he has towards the human that is caring for him, giving him a roof over his head, shelter.  
“Thor, if you could see this,” he laughs softly and then there is silence. Thor? Who is Thor? Who is he speaking of? He rubs at the bandages around his head and groans, it must be from the fall, and yet in his mind he sees the image of a strong tall warrior with long blond hair. He is dressed in Asgardian armor and swinging a large heavy silver hammer in his right hand. There is a ping in Loki’s heart towards that hammer, but he does not know why, it is just a hammer.  
“Stark is just working on formulas and working on what to do about you. Do not worry, he will not kick you out, per say.”  
Loki looks up and about, then nods his head. It is just the voice in the ceiling. Tony told him not to worry about where it is actually coming from. He rolls back over and swings his feet over and onto the plush carpet, feeling the fibers between his toes. He stands up and wobbles, holding a hand to his head at his dizziness. He turns and walks up to the bay view window and looks straight down the cliff to the waves licking the rocks below. Maybe he should kill himself and he would not bother anyone anymore. Loki then ponders on pain and a cold death and maybe he will be freed. Will the valkryies swoop down and carry him away to Valhalla. He sets his palm against the cold glass, leaning in to kiss the glass, drawing back to see the heat marks left from his body. He turns away and begins to wander, finding two doors opening out onto a large balcony. Walking past the table and chairs, to the edge, peering over and down. The waters beckoning him, memorizing. He swallows and closes his eyes, climbing up the short wall and standing on the edge. It ends here, it ends with this, and he will be freed. Wobbling a little forward and backwards in the breeze. He smiles at the water below.  
“You will take care of me. You will carry me out and they will not find my body. No one will find me. Stark will not find me and I will cause no more trouble for him or....SHIELD.” He crouches down now on the lip of the concrete wall. The sun is sparkling brightly on the water below, like millions of fine gems of the royals. All the more attracting to Loki as the shine shifts with the waves crashing against the rocky cliff side far below. Of all ways to die, Loki never pictured drowning. No, he envisioned dying in battle, having won, bloodied and sword in hand. Yes, that death haunted his dreams for hundreds of years, and now he will die by drowning in the seas of Midgard. He smiles, closes his eyes and leans his body forward just a little bit and feels gravity carrying him the rest of the way. The wind in his face and through his hair.  
“Good-bye.”


	10. Chapter 10

Tony was pacing back and forth in his room, wearing a ring pattern into the carpet from his pacing, when Jarvis’s voice comes over the intercom system. That Loki is outside, on the balcony, perched on top of the wall. Fuck. If he jumps, that is it, suicide. And SHIELD does not want him dead; he is not use to them dead. Tony moves as quick as he can, racing down to his work lab and calling to Jarvis to help him put one of his IronMan suits on. He has to get out quickly and get to Loki before he hits the water far far below. He breathes deeply as the mechanical arms begin to assemble the suit to his body, but he feels that he may already be out of time. The helmet shield slides down into place with a loud click.  
“Jarvis!”  
“Yes, sir.”  
“Where is he?”  
“Gone sir, he is no longer on the wall. I fear he has jumped already.”  
“Fuck.”  
“Correct, sir.”  
“Deploying thrusters, we have to get to him quick! There’s slim chance he may have survived. Some do, after jumping off the Golden Gate...” Tony yells and the thrusters click on with ease and in a split second he is out of the mansion, high up in the air before diving down the cliff side to the ocean water below. “Jarvis, bring up the thermal, I need to see his body heat. Where is that little shit?!” Tony stops, hovering, scanning the churning angry water below for the body. Finally spotting Loki’s bobbing body. Making the dive in, wrapping his arms around Loki and shooting up out of the water like a rocket. Descending down upon the balcony and laying the god’s motionless body down. Pushing his face plate back and positioning his hands, he begins to press and pump on Loki’s chest. Trying to work out any water that may have gotten into the god’s lungs. He then leans down, pinching Loki’s nose and bringing his mouth to the god’s, breathing in air. “Come on, come on...” he groans, returning to pumping Loki’s chest, CPR a few more times before the god rolls over with a gag, sputtering up water from his mouth. Thank the gods, he’s still alive somehow. Tony sits back with a stressed heavy sigh.  
“You...should have...left me there...in the water...I was going to die. I was going to not be a pain to anyone anymore.”  
“I told you, you are not going to die on my watch. You surviving that fall there to the ocean, that’s a miracle. We are higher up than the Golden Gate bridge! Really, I...am glad you’re still ....alive,” Tony flushes slightly, feeling his cheeks heat. Loki rolls over slowly and stares up at him with such bright green eyes. “Really...I am,” Tony tries to give a slight smile, but feels it is getting him no where.  
“I don’t know if I should believe the words...coming from your mouth, Stark. For it touched mine.”  
Tony stares back with wide eyes, then presses his cold metal fingers to his own lips. The CPR, Loki was conscious enough for his mind to register that. “I...I was saving your life. We call that CPR. Mouth to mouth resuscitation. It was mandatory.” Loki rolls onto his back and stares up at the sky in silence and Tony feels the burn of being scorned by the god. Maybe he should just being getting use to it by now. He feels he us going to have to watch over Loki, take him under his wing. No way is he allowing Thor to take him back to Asgard like this, with the amnesia. “Look, why don’t we go back inside and you don’t pull anymore shit like that again? That sounds like an awesome plan to me.” He stands up and his suit moves fluidly with his joint movements. Perfect, just perfect. Now if he can tune all of them to be just like this, he would be all set. The looks down on Loki, the god not moving. Tony sighs, leaning down and pulling the god up like a lazy limp cat. “On your feet, Loki, come on,” Tony pulls one of Loki’s around around behind his back and has the god lean into him as they steadily walk into the mansion. Leading him back to his room, needing to get Loki out of those cold wet clothes. “How does a hot shower or bath sound?”  
“Sounds...good,” Loki answers, his teeth chattering against each other and that causes Tony to cringe on the inside.  
“Shower it is then. I’ll get it all ready for you and you can take as long as you want in there,” Tony leads him into the bathroom that is about the same size as his bedroom. Leaving Loki leaving against the bathroom counter as he turns on the water, waiting for the steam. When he turns back around to let Loki know that it’s ready, the god is already standing there naked. His skin so pale and white under the lights in the bathroom. Tony can not help but stare at the god’s thin physique. “Don’t you..ever eat?”  
“I don’t need your Midgardian nourishment the same way you do,” Loki narrows his green eyes and takes a few shaky steps away from the bathroom counter, towards the shower and Tony. “Just..let me be, please.” Tony steps to the side as Loki enters the large tiled shower room, the spray of the water cascading down his creamy skin. His long black hair slicked out on his head and down his neck. Tony’s eyes travel down Loki’s body to his stomach, it an empty hollow pit. The god’s hips bones jabbing out under the skin and Tony feels himself getting sick.  
“Just, don’t drop the soap and slip,” Tony turns away from the sight of Loki, walking out of the bathroom and down to his work lab. His mechanical machine arms dismantling his IronMan suit from his body. He really needs a coffee, yeh some caffeine will help his brain start to crank. He knows now, he can not leave Loki alone unless supervised by Jarvis.  
“Jarvis, I want you to keep close watch on Loki. Don’t allow him to do any thing more reckless, like trying to commit suicide. I do not want to clean the stains out of the floors if that happens.”  
“I will watch over him for you, sir. He will be closely monitored. Sir, I couldn’t help but notice that you have feelings towards the Norse god.” Tony’s body goes shock solid and he wishes he could strangle Jarvis, but that is impossible.  
“Look, Jarvis, just...I don’t want to go into it. It is a personal matter.”  
“Noted, sir, I am sorry to have bothered you that way.”  
“Glad we have that straightened out,” Tony speaks out loud as he heads up stairs to the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee in his very own mug that says ‘# 1’ on the side. That makes him grin every time he reads it. He takes a few hot sips and closes his eyes as he tries to relax, but that seems to be a hard thing to do lately. He is too high strung with keeping Loki under control. When he opens his eyes once more, Loki is right in his line of vision, with a towel around his narrow hips. Tony almost all but spits out his coffee. He can not take this, Loki has to eat and put on some pound. Fat, muscle, he does not care, just no more showing his boney bones under his thin pale skin. He looks like a damn vampire. “Loki...clean now?” he arches a brow.  
“Indeed, I am clean,” Loki answers back calmly, he widening his stance so he does not sway as much and fall back on his butt.  
“Hey, you like ice cream?”  
“What kind of Midgardian food is that?”  
“Um, cold? Look, I think you would like it,” Tony smiles, setting down his mug and walking to the fridge. Pulling open the freezer door to see what is inside. Ah, there is ice cream. He pulls the carton out and opens it, not too many ice crystals line the inside. He is sure Loki will not mind. He grabs a spoon and hands it over to the god. Loki is startled by being handed it all and not just in a bowl. “Go on, sit at the counter and try it,” Tony smiles, having a fluttering feeling in his chest, wanting Loki to like what he has provided for him. Loki dips the spoon into the mint chocolate chip ice cream and brings it up to his open mouth. Tony finds himself staring at that open mouth and pinkish tongue with a lusting want.  
“It is, it is good,” Loki returns the spoon to the carton for another scoop and Tony settles on his bar stool with his coffee and there is silence in the kitchen till Tony’s coffee is gone and so is half the carton of ice cream. “Cold,” Loki shudders, holding a hand to his head in slight pain.  
“Yeh, we call that ‘brain freeze’. It will pass. Come on, how about bed? Bed would be nice.” Tony takes the ice cream, putting it away and then helping the god back to his feet and together they walk back to the bedroom. Loki settling down on the bed with a groan of pain. “Relax, Loki. You did a lot today, including jumping to your death off my balcony,” Tony turns away as Loki lays on his back on the bed, stretching himself like a cat, arms above his head. Tony can not help but look back over one shoulder to Loki and he feels his heart jump up in his throat. His mind being instantly clouded with ideas of things he wants to do with Loki. And napping is not one of the things. He pushes his hands to his face and groans.  
“What is the matter, Stark?” Loki asks, looking up at him with curiosity in his emerald green eyes.  
“Fuck,” he bites on his bottom lip, he should not be allowed to look upon Loki like this, or any guy for that matter.  
“I do not know or understand that word. Is it a Midgardian word?”  
“Yeh, yeh it is. Look, don’t listen to me,” Tony pushes a hand through his hair and paces a little, he can not keep himself still. His eyes still coming back to looking at Loki’s half naked body.  
“You are bad at lying, Stark,” he watches Loki smile. “I would know. I’m the god of lies.” All of that the truth coming out of the god’s mouth.  
“Look, I want to do unmentionable things to your body.”  
“Then do it. Unless it will hurt, I think I’ve had enough with pain.”  
Tony stands, shock still, staring at Loki after he has finished his short sentence. It is like an invite and Tony wants to put a total ‘YES’ down on it. He shakes his head quickly instead. “No, no we shouldn’t. You...you’re suppose to be resting after your fall and all.” He feels Loki’s eyes boring into his back as he turns away from the god, leaving the room.


	11. Chapter 11

He feels he will never understand the human or other humans for that matter. It is hard to get a solid read down on Stark and Loki fears he never will get a hook into the genius. He sits up on the large bed, a hand to his stomach. Looking down as he pulls his hand away, his eyes scanning over the millions upon millions of tiny scars marring his skin. In shades lighter than his normal skin tone. And he still can not remember how he received them. Possibly in a war, battle, that is what he likes to envision in his head. Himself, Loki, a warrior of Asgard.  
He brings a hand up to his mouth and then touches around his head. Asgard? Is that a place? What an odd name for a place. Is he remembering? He groans and shuts his eyes as he rubs his head and it throbs hard, like a band-aid that has been wrapped too tight. A rhythmic pounding in his head, like drums. “I do not need to offend...” He slides off the bed and to his feet, the towel dropping from his hips for it has nothing really to hold on to. He walks over to the large windows and looks back out on the wide open sea. The sea that almost claimed his life. He sighs and rests his forehead to the cold glass. Still wondering on why Tony just did not leave him out there in the cold water to drown, like he wanted. Now he feels imprisoned here in Stark’s mansion. Not allowed to leave or even set a foot onside. He is a caged animal, a pet to Stark. He lets out his pent up breath, fogging the window, drawing his finger down the instant condensation.   
“Why do you...love me? I can sense it, Stark,” he whispers, turning around to find the human there in the doorway, staring at him. So he asks again once more with more emphasis. “WHY do you LOVE me?” He narrows his gaze, trying to gauge Tony. “What is there to love about me? I cause destruction and death, and all things troublesome. So why bother with me? Why did you save me from the snow cap mountains? You could have just left me to freeze up there. Know it wouldn’t hurt you to do so.” He tilts his head to one side as Tony does not answer him. “What’s the matter? Where’s you tongue, Stark? Can’t you speak? Have nothing to say to me?”  
“I love you cuz you’re ....”  
“What?”  
“Cuz you’re...you. Loki. Look, I know it’s a complicated matter, but I’m a complicated man that leads a very complicated life...”  
Loki moves a few fit to sit down on the bed before his legs give out underneath him and he meets the floor.  
“I do not have time for this, Stark.”  
“Hear me out then, just listen. I saved you cuz I felt I needed to. Deep inside, something nagged me to get out there at 3 in the morning, to save you,” he takes a few steps closer towards the bed and away from the doorway; hands out and palms open “Loki, you’re over reacting here and you need recovery time from your ‘adventures’.” Loki turns his gaze away from Tony to look down at the carpet, letting it all soak in, but nothing is really happening. He is not acting like a sponge, actually he is rejecting it all because he does not want to believe that it is the truth.  
“Why didn’t you just leave me down in the water to drown?”  
“I told you...”  
“The truth, Stark,” Loki looks back at him, green eyes narrowed in aggravation.  
“I love you. And I want you to...stay with me. I...get lonely. I need someone,” Tony fidgets and Loki smiles on the inside, seeing the human squirm in his own skin a bit. “I need you,” he speaks firmly now and Loki stares at him, eyes wide. “Yeh, you heard me, I know you did. I need you here with me, Loki.” Those words are sinking into his bones and Loki is a bit speechless. Watching Tony take a few steps closer and Loki does not register it. And before he knows it, Tony is standing in front of him, looking down at him with such a look in his eyes, filled with lust and wanting. All he had been telling Loki has been the truth.  
“Tony,” Loki looks away, feeling his cheeks heat with such warmth he has never felt before inside of him. He turns to look up at Tony once more, that expression on his face still there and for once, Loki feels a little scared by the human. Though he knows he should not, he is an Asgardian, a god. He blinks quickly as his head throbs upon remembering something. He groans and moves his hands up to his head, rubbing it.  
“Loki?”  
“Hush, human. It’s just my head, is all. It throbs.”  
“You did crack it open on the concrete floor...”  
“It’s not just from that, Stark,” he opens his eyes once more and looks up at him. “I’m remembering.” He watches Tony take a step back in shock, he feels it coming off the human’s body like waves.  
“That...that is wonderful! You’re remembering...”  
“It’s no fun matter, Stark,” Loki continues to rub his throbbing head, laying back now on the large bed. Before he knows it, he feels the weight of one’s body on top of his. And he stares up into unclouded brown eyes, swallowing compulsively. “Tony...”  
“Shh, don’t speak,” Tony whispers, eyes half lidded as he lays a finger down against Loki’s lips. Loki stares, heart racing like a horse in his chest,then he slowly opens his mouth for Tony’s finger, taking it into his mouth. He slowly closes his eyes and suckles gently, slowly, on the human’s warm finger. A moan escaping between his lips; opening his green eyes and looking back up to Tony’s face. It is filled with pleasure to please and Loki feels this is where he is meant to be.  
“Stark...what are you...doing?”  
“You will see, I’m sure it will return to you.”


	12. Chapter 12

Tony can not believe that just came out of his mouth, and it was directed to Loki of all people. He feels like a complete and utter idiot. One hand traveling up his shirt to rest over his arc reactor unintentionally. Feeling the tugging of his heart strings for the naked god sitting on the bed before him. And the look on Loki’s face is a mix of shock and dire confusion and Tony does not blame him. He does not know his exact feelings that well either. But he and Loki had once share a short passionate moment in the past. Maybe reacting it will jog Loki’s memory.  
To just start the memories means Tony has to get closer to Loki. Closer than just a finger between them.  
“Loki, tell me your exact feelings. I wanna hear all the adjectives coming from that sweet mouth of yours,” Tony stares seriously at Loki and the god just stares blankly. At least he does nothing to try and cover his lap and that hardening shaft that does not lie. The body never lies, Tony has learned that a long time ago. “Loki, tell me your feelings now. Don’t be embarrassed. Come on, tell me,” Tony feels a smile tug on his lips as the god seems to be worming his way into his heart and doing a pretty good job at it.  
“I feel...warmth. A fire...,” Loki touches a hand to his own chest. “In here.”  
“Yeh, heartache, I know that well,” Tony chuckles. “I’m the best looking guy for miles and miles, you’re not going to get any better,” he winks and watches Loki’s pale cheeks flush with colour. Damn this feels good to do to him, to see Loki like this, innocent and no memory. Though his memories are starting to return to him slowly, like an ebbing tide. His eyes travel back down to Loki’s lap.  
“And here, hurts,” Loki moves his hand from his chest, down to his hips and dipping lower to clutch himself. Tony’s tongue darts between his dry lips to moisten them; Loki has no true clue what it his he is doing to Tony on the inside. Turning on his charm, Tony works to loose Loki to a more fluid state of mind.  
“Yeh, I know. I can see, Loki. There’s something you can do to make that hurt turn into pleasure.” Loki lives his green gaze back up to Tony with innocence still shining through. “It’s true. And all you need is your hand. Look, I’ll show you,” Tony gulps, he can not believe he is actually going to do this with Loki. He couches down beside the bed, in front of Loki, resting one on his hands on Loki’s, moving it towards the ache. “Yeh, slowly,” he feels his eyes go half lidded, staring at Loki’s hardening shaft, moving the god’s fingers to grip himself. “Feel good? It will feel better,” he makes Loki grip tight, and then eases his fist up, and then back down to the base. Up, down, up, down; with such a slow fluid motion. And a moan escapes Loki’s mouth that almost sends Tony into a tizzy. The mix of pleasure and pain is an almost ‘too good to be true’ kind of thing. And he wants Loki to learn of that. The moves the god’s thumb to push against the crown and Loki hisses between his teeth.  
“Stark....Stark...I don’t want this,” Loki softly whines and Tony stops completely, staring up to meet those entrancing green eyes.  
“What?”  
“I do not want this,” Loki repeats and pulls his hand away from Tony’s and turns his head to the side, looking away.  
“Wh..what do you mean?” Tony blubbers, confused on the matter. He thought all was going quite well with the matter.  
“I mean what I say, Stark. You’re suppose to be quite a smart man, I think you would understand most of all,” Loki pushes himself up and off the bed. Stumbling to the dresser and steadying himself with one hand pushing against the fine varnished wood work. His head hanging low off his shoulders as he groans. Tony knows in due time, it will all soak in and the god will come crawling back to him on his hands and knees, most likely begging for more, like a dog to its master. That pulls a smile across Tony’s face, and then he gets up and walks over to Loki. Laying a hand on the god’s back and rubbing his fingers up and down his visible boney spine.  
“You’ll come back to me for me, I know, Loki.”  
The god turns his head and glares at Tony, but he does not take a step back and Loki relaxes once more. “You think you know me so well just because I can not remember myself,” Loki sighs deeply.  
“Possibly, that could be the truth. I’m trying to help you here, Loki. Isn’t anything coming back to you?” Tony questions, most of all wanting to hear if Loki has remembered him. He had opened his heart and soul to the god, he wants at least for Loki to remember that much.  
He turns away from Loki, turning his back on him. Walking across the room and crouching down lower, spinning the dial on a small safe, the door popping open with a hiss. He feels Loki’s eyes on him now, curiosity killing him to know what Tony is doing. He pulls out what he is searching for. Standing and turning back to Loki, pulling the velvet cloth back, revealing the head of the Tesseract spear.  
“Tell me you remember this,” Tony holds the spear head out at arms length, Loki’s eyes wide in horror as he stares at it, transfixed. “Remember this?? It’s yours. It’s what you used to gain control of humans to do your bidding.”  
“I...I...”  
“Yes?”  
“I remember that glow. I know that colour,” Loki whispers, a hand rubbing at his head as he looks at the Tesseract spear head in Tony’s hands, half wrapped up in a velvet cloth. Tony studies the god’s fascinated and painful look.   
“Shh, it will come back to you. But...it might help if you touch it,” Tony whispers. Watching the hand that was against Loki’s head move, shaking, reaching out and laying his fingers onto the glowing blue of the Tesseract. Instantly his eyes go wide, then half lidded with a satisfied smile.  
“It touches everyone...differently,” he whispers, his other hand resting on his belly and Tony wonders if something is wrong. Loki lifting his eyes to him and in a flash, his mood has changed and the god strikes out at him. Knocking the spear head away and leaving the room quickly with a hiss. Leaving Tony stunned as to what just happened.


	13. Chapter 13

He has to keep on moving. Shuffling around the mansion and getting nowhere fast. Eventually his legs start to shake and he collapses to the floor, dry heaving. Holding a hand still to his belly. After moments of agony and his diaphragm clenching up, he lays on his side on the plush carpet in silence. Yes, he remembers the Tesseract. And he feels there is more than just that small piece in the spear head. It is close. Closer than he thinks. He feels his eyes sting with tears and he wipes them away. Why is there a feeling of such uncertainly about his stomach? Glad that Stark did not follow him, he has time to reflect on himself. Truly himself in question and the why of fits of his body? Looking down his body to his sunken belly and its maze of criss-cross pale raised scars. He traces every one with a finger. One scar longer than the others runs across his belly in a jagged line. Loki frowns, forcing himself to sit up and tries to study the scar and its odd shape. Prodding his belly, he feels something and he goes shock still out of pure fear. What is it? Does Stark know? Is that why he has been getting so close, wanting to find out what is really wrong with him? What makes him tick? What is inside. Loki scrambles to his feet and hurries back to Tony’s bedroom, finding the human has not left, he is just back to drinking something strong once more.  
“You know what is inside me, don’t you??” Loki persists, yelling at Stark. “Tell me!” Tony’s look of confusion may be answer enough, but Loki does not want that answer. He wants to know what is wrong and what has happened to his body. “Tony...”  
“Whoa, I do not know what you’re talking about there,” Tony sets his glass aside and then holds his hands out, palms towards Loki in defense. Like that will really help him if Loki were to attack.  
“You lie,” Loki hisses. “Why else have you been worming close to me, but to know what is inside me?”  
“I ....didn’t even know you have something inside you,” Tony frowns deeply at him. “What ever do you mean by that, Loki?”  
“I..I..” Loki stumbles his words, dumbfounded as Stark is as in the dark as he is.  
“What? What is going on, Loki?”  
“I don’t really know,” he nervously rubs a hand against his stomach. “I need clothes.” Tony sighs, getting up and walking to his dresser, pulling out a loose pair of jeans, tossing them at Loki. He catches and pulls them off, feeling a little better at not being completely exposed to Tony now.  
“You think there’s...something inside you?” Tony asks, pointing at Loki’s nervous hand rubbing at his belly. Loki flushes, feeling his cheeks heat a little.  
“Maybe...”  
“We can always take an x-ray.”  
Loki stares at Tony now. Why did not think of that? But of course, that will answer his nagging in the back of his mind. “Then do it, Stark. I want to know what is here,” he pushes his fingers down his sunken belly, again feeling something odd and angular. Listening to Tony sigh and down the rest of his glass. Loki then turns and follows Stark out of the room, shuffling along for he does not at the energy to pick up his feet and walk normally. Tony leads him into a bright white room he has yet to explore. All around is large mechanical equipment that is even more advanced than the healing room up in Asgard. There he goes again, where is Asgard? Loki rubs at his bandaged head.  
“Over here, lay on this table,” Tony pats and Loki hoists himself up and lays down on his back, eyes sharp on the other male.  
“This will not hurt, will it?”  
“Nope. Painless. Just don’t move,” Tony frowns, wagging a finger Loki, pulling a machine over at his bolted up through the ceiling. Tony takes a minute to line it up over Loki’s stomach, then he walks away, leaving Loki a little clueless onto what is really going to happen. Tony steps behind a glass wall, fiddling with something for a moment before walking back out. “Kay, all done.”  
“Done?”  
“Yeh, done.”  
“You did nothing!”  
“Well, excuse you, yes I did,” Tony frowns, “We just have to wait now for the x-ray to develop. I stepped aside in that room over there because of the radiation the x-ray machine gives off. Mandatory procedure.” Loki pushes himself up and holds a hand to his stomach before swinging his legs over the side of the table to meet the floor below. He stands and walks over room Stark was just in to see many button and lever operations. Stark was speaking the truth and Loki should believe, he is an engineer after all. “Believe me now?” Loki turns and nods his head at Stark. Watching the man disappear again and return with a wide thin black sheet. He clips it up on a board and flicks a switch, lights appearing from behind the foggy glass. Revealing on the paper, a picture of his insides. He steps closer in amazement. Human technology is far advanced.  
“What is that?” he asks, reaching out and tapping a finger to what looks like a small object, the side of a rubix cube inside his stomach.  
“Hell if I know. Did you swallow something that big?” Tony looks back at him, just as puzzled and then shakes his head. Remembering that Loki remembers nothing. Then the human’s fingers at on his stomach and Loki almost jumps out of his skin.  
“Wh...what are you doing?” he hisses.  
“Feeling for it,” Tony replies. His fingers skillfully searching out the cube like object. “You don’t remember how you got these scars? They seem pretty bad. This one here, looks like you did it to yourself. It’s a horrible job,” Tony frowns, his fingers following the jagged line. “The stitches, if there is stitches in there, look like they were never taken out. You sure this doesn’t ring a bell or anything to you, Loki? This is serious.”  
Loki has to shake his head side to side, nothing is coming to mind over that he may have been cut open and someone stuffed something inside of him. He looks down his belly and just stares at the spider network of scars. “Cut me open, see what it is and take it out of me,” he lifts his gaze to stare, eyes narrowed.  
“Whoa, you serious??” Tony backs up with his hands up. “I’m no doctor! You want me just to right ahead and cut you open on the table right now??” Loki quietly nods his head and Tony steps back. Shaking his head and pushing the heels of his palms against his closed eyes, groaning.  
“I trust you,” Loki whispers and Tony drops his hands to stare, dumbfounded.  
“That is the last thing I would imagine hearing coming out of your mouth,” he shakes his head.  
“You will do it, Stark. Out of...the goodness in your heart.” Tony laughs.  
“Goodness? Right, and this is coming from the destroyer,” Tony smiles coyly. “Fine, I will do it. For you,” he reaches out a palm and holds it against Loki’s cheek. He sighs, closing his green eyes and nodding.


	14. Chapter 14

What has he gotten himself into? Tony’s mind is racing as he is actually holding a freshly sharpened scalpel in his hand and looking at Loki out like a light on the table. It took handful of good quality strong anesthesia to put the god out. When did his last have a good bottle of scotch to drink? Right, several hours ago. He eyes his hand with the scalpel and it begins to shake. His nerves are shot and rattled, but he has to get them under control and quick. He is going to help Loki out; he believes it is the least he can do for him.  
Sure, he has cut open metal and electronic equipment to fix the insides, but he has never cut through living flesh or even just flesh for that matter.  
“Fuck, I can’t do this,” he drops the scalpel to the floor and begins pacing about nervously.  
“You can, sir,” Jarvis’s voice comes over the PA system and Tony sighs. Jarvis has always been there to push him forward. He crouches down and picks up the knife once more, taking a deep breath and letting it out. Turning to look at Loki once more. He is going to do this and do it right. All preparations ready for the worse. Tony leans in close and draws the scalpel over Loki’s lower portion of his sunken belly. Feeling for that cube shape that appeared in the x-ray. With a pair of dissecting tweezers, Tony pulls out something he never would have expected. Loosing his grip on the tweezers and they fall to the floor with a clang. He takes a few steps back and shakes his head. What he has pulled out of Loki is a piece of the tesseract that was lodged into his stomach somehow. That is more than he needs to know how it got there. He pushes the heels of his palms to his closed eyes, telling himself to calm down.  
After a moment or two has passed, he moves back to Loki to sew up the deep cut he has given. The whole time, his mind racing and thinking (which gives him a throbbing headache). How did it get there? When did it get there? Who put it there? Did Loki eat it? After he’s done threading up the god and smoothing out a sterile bandage strip, he returns to the piece of the cube on the floor. Picking it up with the tweezers. Just amazing. Banner would love to get his paws on it for closer research. But really, it is Loki’s. Tony stands up, moving to the sink and washing the piece of tesseract off till it gives its faint hollow blue glow. The thing is quite amazing and Tony knows it has many properties yet to be discovered. It will be some time before Loki wakes once more, to shake off the drugs, Tony is going to give the tesseract a bit of a closer look.


	15. Chapter 15

Loki comes to, feeling quite groggy. As if he spent a whole night drinking mead with Thor and the warriors three. He sits up and rubs a his head, looking down at his bandaged belly. Where could Stark have slunk off to? He slips down off the table to the floor, and shuffles his way out with bare feet. Remembering the layout of the mansion and finding his way back to the living area. Looking out the double doors to the balcony and remembering his jump. He smiles.  
“Whoa, I did not expect you to be up and moving so quickly,” Tony exclaims, coming up behind him. Loki turns and glares at the human and what he is holding in his hands. Then his eyes go wide in wonder.  
“Is that...the tesseract??”  
“A piece at least. Um, this is what I took out of your stomach.” Loki approaches for a closer look upon the controlling piece of matter.  
“It was...inside.”  
“Uh-huh,” Tony nods his head up and down. “Look, I want to keep it. You clearly don’t need it. Banner would love to research it with more time now...” Loki is quick, striking like a snake, smacking the cube piece straight out of Tony’s hands. It goes clattering against the tiled floor into the kitchen.  
“It is mine, man of iron. Not for you. For me,” Loki hisses, eyes narrowed in hatred, feeling the old fire inside his soul light once more. Then he smiles wickedly at Stark, for the shocked look on his face. Loki’s fingers then lash out and latch onto Tony’s neck, thumb pressed against his air pipe. Forcing him around and backing down on the couch. Pinning him there with his body. “Oh you stupid, stupid human,” Loki smiles upon Tony’s stressed look, clearly looking for any means of escape. “I remember it all now. Every little minuet detail,” he leans in close, their lips barely touching, Tony’s breath shallow. “Thank you, Anthony,” he whispers, his over hand pushing Tony’s shirt up his chest. His fingers gliding over the arc reactor and pleasure filled smile pulls across his lips. Giving it a gentle turn to the right and pulling out. Holding the warm piece of technology now in his hand. It clearly is quite a remarkable thing and Loki is fascinated by it. His eyes travel back down to Tony, taking note that the human seems to be struggling inside and loosing his colour. “Oh Tony, Tony, Tony, what ever is happening to you? This wouldn’t be your heart now, would it?” Loki gives a gentle tug, pulling out the wire that was connecting the arc to Tony.  
“Damn you, Loki,” Tony hisses, but his voice is lower and his skin turning a pasty white, along with a sheen of perspiration.  
“Yes, yes, curse me all you like, man of iron,” Loki smiles, tossing the arc up and catching it over and over, like a cat playing with a ball of yarn. “I’m sure there are some in Asgard that would love to research this, as much as your friend wants to research my tesseract.” He leans in and runs his tongue against Tony’s lips, looking deeply into those redwood coloured eyes all shock and horror. “This is mine now, my souvenir from my trip to Midgard. And I guess I will leave you here to die alone,” he moves off Tony’s lap now, with the arc clutched tightly in his hand. As he turns around, ready to take his leave with his trophy and wreak havoc on the rest of Midgard, he is hit with mental images he did not know where buried in his mind. Memories of him and Stark. Memories of vivid heat and lust, longing. He turns around and stares at Stark, helplessly laying on the couch and clutching a hand to the empty hole in the center of his chest, his white shirt drenched in sweat from his body.  
“You...remember, don’t you? A reason to live,” Tony questions, his breathing still shallow and his voice strained. “You really are...remembering it. What I gave to you.” Loki continues to stare as the images continue to linger and he drops the arc reaction to the plush carpeted floor below. “Heh,” Tony laughs and tries to grin. Loki tries shaking his head, hitting at it with his fists.  
“Tony...Anthony...” Loki whines softly,trying to process his feelings of the memories in his head that are surfacing quicker than he can comprehend them. Tony takes the chance to slip from the couch and make his way to pick up the arc reactor, returning it to its rightful place in the center of his chest. “No, no, how could you, a mere human, love me??” He stares down on Tony as he hears the click of the arc slipping back into its metal casing. He shakes his head once more and paces around in a tight circle. “I am a god! And you are a mortal! It is not suppose to work this way,” he hisses.  
“Well, I love you,” Tony pushes himself up and stands in front of Loki, holding his hands to his shoulders. Loki finds himself staring into those endless cocoa brown eyes. “I love you and that all that matters. Nothing...you can or will do will change my mind of that. Fuck it,” he curses, leaning forward to take Loki’s lips in a deep kiss. He is momentarily startled at such the gesture, but then slips in to returning the favor to Tony. It feel all right as the moments pass, like this has happened before and was meant to be. He admits to himself that he feels more at home here then he did up on Asgard or the other eight realms.  
“I...”  
“Hm?” Tony arches a brown brow.  
“I feel more wanted and at home, here, than back in Asgard or any of the other eight realms,” Loki whispers, shifting his gaze to the floor and Tony’s bare feet. He blushes as his body is pulled forward and clasped tightly with tight arms. He shuts his eyes and drops his head to Tony’s shoulder. Yeh, this is his new home, to stay with Stark.

FIN


End file.
